Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Home Sweet Home

I stop to breath. I looked back to see if they were following me. I could hear the hounds in the background, barking and sniffing. I started to run again, but fell on my face. I turned around to get up but i was blinded by a bright light. I put my hands over my eyes to block out the light. I could hear the hounds coming closer. The last thing I could remember is my heart racing and thoughts going through my head saying “I’m going to die.”

I woke up in an old abandon hospital room a few months later. Everything in the room was all torn and brown like when you abandon something for years.

I sat up and saw an alarm clock by my hospital bed saying it was 6:66 am. I thought to myself for awhile. “There’s only 60 minutes in an hour... This says 6:66.. That's impossible!” I looked at my wrist. They had little stars with circles around them looking like someone craved them in with a knife not too long ago.

I got a sharp pain in my neck. I put my hand around my neck to massage it, but i felt something.. like a little indent in my skin where i use to have my little “bubble” my mom called it when i was little. My fingers felt sticky. I moved my hands in front of my face so i could see them. There was red sticky stuff that smelled.. I took a better look. It was blood. The cut was still open but didn’t hurt. I put my fingers back to the little indent and felt a sharp edge. It felt like a chip. I tried pulling it but i could feel a little pain so I stop.

I got up and walked over to a window that had boards across it. I took one board off and looked outside. Everything was abandoned. They sky was brown and filled with smoke. The buildings were all torn down or in bad shape. It was like I’ve been gone for centuries.

I looked around the room and i couldn’t find a door. I sighed and sat on the floor.

“How’s this possible? first the clock, then outside, and now no door? whats going on! is this like a game show?” I sat there thinking of what cheesy line i should say for the direct to show himself. “ha ha. you guys got me, now come out and tell me who put you guys up to it.” There was no movement, no sound. It scared me.

I laid down on the floor. I closed my eyes. I had a flash back. It was when i was little and i was with my mom the day it happened... We were at the park one day in the fall. I bet my mom to the swings. I chuckled. She was pushing me when all of a sudden a car pulled up.

I heard a noise and opened my eyes. I sat up and looked around, nothing moved. I looked out the window there more smoke than i could remember. First thing that popped in my head was that there was a building falling, but i couldn’t tell. I laid back down on the floor. I saw a crack in the corned that showed light.. I crawled my way over there. I pushed on the wall and it was a secret door.

Behind the secret door was a very dark hall with one light near the door. It  looked like there was another door at the end of the hall. I walked all the way down the hall to the other door. I opened the door fast so it would hit the wall just to know there was no one behind the door.

This room was bright and with white walls. There was a surgery bed in the middle of the room. White cabinets along the walls. There was tools all laid out on a tray. A knife, saw, pliers, and tweezers washed up and ready to be used. I gawped.

Next thing i knew i was standing besides the surgery table. These three guys rush in with this beautiful girl with wavy brown hair and green eyes. They laid her down on the table and strapped her down. All i could do is just stare at her. It looked like she was staring at me back like she knew me. I kept staring, then i realized it was my mother! She was using the clothes she was using when i last saw her. I stepped back and this man dressed in white walked in with gloves on and picked up the knife and started to cut her up. I tried screaming but nothing came out. Then i was back to the white room with no one in it.

I saw this green sweater left behind. It wasn’t there before I had that flashback. I grabbed it up and looked at it carefully. It looked like a Christmas sweater my mother would always wear. I smelled it. I smelled like flowers. I smiled. “She must know i’m here” I said with the smile on my face. “She must be leading me to her.”

I leaned against the wall and once again another secret door. I fell into it. It was the outside finally! I looked up, the sky was still brownish yellow. “Isn’t it suppose to be dark out..” i thought to myself. I wondered around for a bit.  Looking at the old remains of buildings i once knew. I saw a gleam of light flash. I covered my eyes to block out the light. I heard a voice calling my name “Kayla, Kayla, its okay its me.”

“Mom? Is that you?” I uncovered my face and squinting my eyes.
“Yes, honey it is me. Walk into the light.”
I took two steps forward and stopped. Something told me to stop. “Walk to me mommy show yourself.” Something started to walk to her from the light.
“Do you see me now?”
I squinted and saw her right in front of me. “Mom!” I ran up to her with tears in my eyes. “Mom i’ve missed you!” I said hugging her.
She held me so tight i could barely breathe “I missed you too sweetie”

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I. the girl didn't know where she was.
    II.there is no real antagonist.
    III. My favorite part of the story is when she figures out her mom is there too.
    IV. the conflict is this story's best quality.
    V. the story's theme is enjoy your loved one's company before they are gone.
    VI. I think the beginning needs to be rfevised, and explained a little bit more.

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  3. 1. She didnt know where she was.
    2. Doesnt really say who that antagonist is.
    3. When she finds her mom.
    4. conflict.
    5. Enjoy loved ones.
    6. Reread and make an ending.

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  4. 1. She didnt know where she was. external
    2. the antagonist isnt metioned. the character doesnt change.
    3. when she finds her mom. resolution. "I squinted and saw her right in front of me. “Mom!” I ran up to her with tears in my eyes. “Mom i’ve missed you!” I said hugging her."
    4. the conflict
    5. enjoy what you have or esle it could be gone
    6.the antagonist

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